I went back to work today. I had 11 glorious weeks off. Time spent with Stanford, Maggie and lots of extended family. I was able to re coop from a hard and difficult delivery. I was able to have success at breastfeeding. I was able to nap and read and go for walks and bike rides. I was able to figure out ways to calm a crying baby.
Motherhood has been quite an adjustment for me. I kept thinking that after a difficult pregnancy things would be great. And while it's not been terrible, it's not been easy either. The constant spitting up, crying, and poopy diapers can sometimes cause me to want to pull my hair out. But the smiles and coos, cuddles and soft cheeks to kiss make up for those difficult times.
And today I had to do the most difficult thing of all and walk out my front door with purse, pump, lunch and water in tow and kiss my husband and sweet little girl goodbye. I was so nervous about this day. Not quite sure what to expect. It was not what I wanted and yet it was ok.
My day back at work could not have gone better. Stanford made me a smoothie for breakfast. I got the most perfect parking spot. There were welcome back signs all over my office, playroom and Peds unit. I got filled in on all that has happened in the last few months. I got to catch up on all the lives of my friends and co-workers. And the best part: the day went by quickly. And when I came home there was my husband and little girl waiting to greet me. Dinner was cooking & the table set. I feel blessed.
I think I just might be able to handle this.