Don't let failure diminish prayer

My mother taught me to seek after truth wherever it is found. I think for this reason I have always loved religion. I believe truth, both secular and spiritual knowledge results from a curiosity of things. As a father, I hope to instill this same curiosity into my children. Prayer, scripture study and pondering are invaluable tools for acquiring spiritual knowledge. I have discovered that sorting out spiritual knowledge can be a complex process; spiritual truths, emotions, traditions, habits and experiences get mixed together and make it hard to see. But occasionally I come around a bend where I can look back upon the vista and all the pieces come together and I realize how simple it is. I was recently pondering the chasm that exist between my righteous desires and the reality of my behaviors. From time to time, while in heartfelt prayer a feeling of peace and renewal has washed over me. It is hard to describe but there was this sense of an emerging new person. However, after arising from my knees I have often found myself disposed to fall back into my old patterns, sometimes within only seconds of pronouncing amen. It was troubling. A deep sense of guilt would sweep across my soul. It caused me to dismiss and cast out those sweet moments in prayer. I mislabeled myself a hypocrite. But then I came to a vista that allowed me to see that my failed attempts were acceptable in the eyes of God. Sanctification comes through practice and practice results in a multitude of mistakes and failures. I have a few favorite general conference talks that speak on this subject: Until Seventy Times Seven and Latter-day Saints Keep on Trying. I love these words from the title page of the Book of Mormon, "Now if there are faults they are the mistakes of men; wherefore, condemn not the things of God, that ye may be found spotless at the judgement-seat of Christ." In other words, sanctification comes through a process of overlooking faults or failures, even those faults found within me.

Happy Halloween

Henry's Faces

Thanks to Grandma Richins each of the kids got a new outfit, an good excuse to do a photo-shoot.

Easter at Aunt Michelle's

We spent Easter with Aunt Michelle.  The kids had fun.  Michelle had all kinds of activity plans, all of which were way more fancy than we usually make Easter.  Sara and I listened to general conference via ByuTV and while the kids played outside.  It was nice because we could actually listen. Meanwhile, Michelle made meal preparations, though I think by default she caught some of the conference talks.  The kids totally got caught up in all the hoopla. The message of Christ's resurrection was lost but hopefully that message will become more pertinent as they mature, for now they created some great memories, thanks to their Aunt. 

The kids dyed eggs, melted crayons over hot eggs, painted bird houses, went to an Easter carnival at the park where they ate cotton candy, pop-corn, donuts, cookies and collected a few of the 10,000 eggs that were part of the not-so-hidden Easter egg hunt.  All-in-all they got more candy than Halloween.  They also met the Easter Bunny, Maggie was convinced it was not the real thing.

Michelle made a ham, deviled eggs, potato casserole and green beans.  She also made giant chocolate covered peanut butter eggs (which are currently only half-eaten).  Even with all the good food, I think I ate more candy than real food, which might explain why I can't lose weight.

A simple observation

At least four days a week, I leave the house for almost twelve hours. Those twelve hours are mine, sure they belong to my employer but they feel more like me time. If you think working with an egomaniac client or a demanding boss is hard, try raising a child. Nothing will prepare you better for the work place than raising children. The pace is non-stop. The work is tedious. It is humbling and emotional.

The worst moments are when you break. It is almost always over something benign, like when a child demands the pink cup instead of the yellow one. Suddenly, I've found myself screaming at my kids until they are all crying. Those are surely the worst moments.

But the best moments are simple. They happen more frequently than I realized when I was the stay-at-home dad.  It is hard to see them when you are in the throes of life.  But just watching a child's amazing curiosity over a rock or their enjoyment of simply being. My favorite part of the day is sitting outside with Emma in my arms watching Maggie and Henry run around.  Emma is my little observer, she enjoys watching her siblings with me.When she is not watching, she is climbing.  It's amazing how much joy she gets from her accomplishment. It's these moments that are easy to miss, when there is always something else that needs to be done but I've never regretted spending time with my kids, free from distraction and just learning to enjoy being.

Henry's first T-ball game

Henry's first T-ball game.  The coach was all business.  Most of the kids were more interested in drawing circles in the sand but they focused long enough to play two innings.  The boys all got to hit and run the bases.  Most days you can find Henry with his friends playing in the front street. Sara orchestrated it so that they are all playing on the same team.

Unworthy Sea Vessels

We walked around Cornerstone Park and tested our plastic boats in the water. Unfortunately Henry's and Maggie's boat sank.

Maggie with Grandma Richins

Since the beginning of 2014, I have taken about 4,400 picture, which actually isn't a lot.  I have been trying to slowly filter through them.  In the process I found this these shoots of Maggie and Grandma. They made me laugh and smile.  I love seeing photos I have forgotten, it helps me remember the events of my life and to be grateful for my family.

Frogs & snails & puppy dogs tails And such are little boys made of...

Little boys and girls are not made of the same things and Henry is definitely our little boy, although it is funny because Maggie is much more willing to pickup crawling insects and play in the mud. Henry loves sharing and being social, he loves to play rough and it takes something serious before he will cry over a bump or scratch but he will break instantly into tears if your reprimand him.

We celebrated his third birthday with a dirt cake and worms... courtesy of Mom.
 

First father-son campout

Henry was the youngest boy on the father-son camp out. All the other boys were very inclusive, they gave him the name" King Henry" and gently led him on all their explorations on Mt. Potosi.

We are...

a mid-way destination and rarely the soul reason for a visit to Las Vegas... but occasionally it does rain here and a spectacular rainbow stretches across the desert valley, this summer Paige's visit was one of those rare occasions.

Setting up camp

For the last five years we have gone camping with the Donovan family almost every summer.  I wish you could see both of our vans stuffed with kids and camping gear.  Gone are the simple camping days, where I would forget one of my two camping items, a sleeping bag or food.  Now we have scooters, air mattress, cots, luggage with multiple outfits for everyday, flashlights for everyone, including Emma, stoves, cookware, boxes of snacks, drinks in the cooler, card and board games, tent and floor mat, matches and firewood, chairs, sunshades, sun screen, hammocks and we would bring the other half our gear if we could get it into the car.

The Donovan's magically are able to put more into their car and more amazing unpack and pack their stuff in half the time it takes us.  Any suggestion for how we could improve our setting up camp time?

To Grandmother's house we went...

and returned... a long time ago, but I am play catchup with my collection of images.

Hemenway Park

While the Michelle was visiting, we took the kids to Hemenway Park, in Boulder City. In the evening dozens of big horn sheep come down from hills to eat the grass. We (the adults) ate lunch while the kids ran about.

Easter

Saturday we dyed eggs.  Sara gave a fun lesson on the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  This morning the kids woke up and found their Easter basket that was filled with some candy and a toy.  I feel like we really toned things down this year, which was so nice.  I hope we can continue to focus on the true meaning of Easter.  Sara's lesson made all the difference.  Thanks.

Family update

Emma was perfect for the first two hundred pictures, while I chased down kids. I was determined that my children were going to listen to me. I reminded myself not to threaten or scream, the fatal error most parents make during the stressful event of a family photos. At first, I playfully coaxed them into the photo but it quickly turned into my kids are going to listen to me and be well behave. Eventually everyone stopped crying and then Emma burst into tears.

Emma's Blessing Day

Remember that group picture... the one where we all sat in front of the camera while it snapped a hundred pictures or so... well, the images were all over-over-exposed. Unfortunately, we didn't get picture of the whole group which included the Donovans, Uncle Blake's family, Grandma and Grandpa T, Aunt Michelle's family, Aunt Tonya and Uncle Dale with and Taylor and Grandma Richins and my good friend Andrew Bonomo.

Emma was given her blessing in the Bishop's office because Grandma and Taylor got in an auto accident on their way to church. Young man had basic run into them out of road-rage. Fortunately no one was hurt, just the pride of the other driver.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the only accident on her blessing day. That night I backup into Uncle Blake's car as I was leaving for California. No pictures included! But despite a few misfortunes, it was a great day. We got to be with family and Emma didn't cry during her blessing, which for me made it perfect!

Two hands three kids

My favorite times is when all three kids are crying and Sara is taking a shower. Welcome to chaos... yes, tempers flair from time to time. Everyone gets to have a few melt downs everyday, parents included, of course.Eventually we will grow out of this stage. I am counting on the fact that I don't remember much of my life before five years, so there is still hope that we can turn this ship around. At the end of the day, we love each other and that is all that counts... Right?

Maggie and her paper creations

When Grandma Richins came to town she showed Maggie how to cut animals out of paper. Since then, our house is littered when unicorns, dogs, horses, monsters and other paper creations along with snippets of confetti. Everyday she spends a few hours entertaining herself drawing and cutting things out.

Emma's Baby Blessing Dress

Grandma is amazing.   Every little baby should get there own handmade dress. We feel very blessed.